Passive
“You think that passive aggression is something most couples
share in their relationship with one another?” I asked my wife.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, lots of times I agree to go along with something, and
later resent my decision. I am angry that I was obliged to do whatever it was. I
feel coerced and trapped into saying okay.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” she said.
“I don’t believe that’s true.”
“You don’t want to do something, don’t do it,” she said.
“Well, in the future I won’t,” I said.
I bet I will say yes
the next time she wants to go visit her family and be mad about it the whole
time I’m over there, I thought.
Victim
“Do you see yourself as a victim,” she asked me.
“No,” I said. “Why would I?”
“Well, your businesses have been robbed, one was burned down,
you lost money when you went into business with your son, you and your first
wife got a divorce, and I bet a lot of other stuff has happened to you over the
years,” she said. “Lots of people would feel sorry for themselves.”
“I’m not lots of people,” I said. “I see a bunch of them falling
all over their sorry selves with their hands out looking for somebody to tell
them it wasn’t their fault.”
“So you don’t think of yourself as a victim?”
“Look, every time I lost all my crap, I felt lucky to get to
start over, to have a clean slate, and tried to put off getting trapped by a
bunch of possessions as long as
possible.” I laughed. “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”
“So you’re not materialistic.”
“Hell yes I am. Maybe more than most, but after a while the
shiny wears off of the prettiest things including women, and it’s nice if
somehow I’m not responsible for losing everything. I get to start over with a
clear conscience so to speak.” I said.
“I don’t think I understand,” she said.
“Well, look. Take that time when my first wife ran off. Hell,
I’d gotten to resenting her, and when she took off, I was free. I was happy
when the next one left too.” I said. “I like starting over—fresh.”
“You like starting fresh?”
“I always like the sound of that word,” I laughed. "Fresssh. That word makes my heart sing."
