Unlucky Mix Up
Yesterday’s Tulsa World Online Edition published a
short article describing how a small, shy, ugly man was torn to shreds at a
conference held at a local Holiday Inn Express which took place on the September 15th, 2013 in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Apparently there was a mix up,
and a group of militant feminist and women righter´s who were expecting to hear speakers dealing with Sexual
and Domestic Abuse mistakenly attended a conference dealing with The Value of
Legalized Prostitution.
The report was sketchy, and did not have many
details. The Tulsa World promised to publish a full report of the tragedy as
soon as the Tulsa Police released the 911 tapes and the full homicide report.
The police are also looking at the hotel’s security tapes and reviewing the
guest list of the hotel, but so far no arrest have been made.
The Tulsa World obtained the following transcript of
Mr. Underman’s opening speech It is believed that this
speech was responsible for the riot.
Good
afternoon, my name is Teddy Underman. I want to thank everyone here at the
conference today for coming. Let me say that I know today’s topic, Are Hookers
Better than Girlfriends, is controversial, but let me start the conference with
the reason’s I believe, for a guy like me, hookers are better.
I've
been having such bad luck with relationships lately. Instead of trying to date regular girls, I
would prefer to pay a hooker for sex and be done with it.
I’m
a perfect fit for someone who needs to use a hooker. I’m ugly, shy, and have no
personality. I’ve had bad luck finding the type of woman I want, and when it
comes to the looks department, on a scale of one to ten, I’m a one. I’m 31-years-old
and still a virgin. I believe it would be a lot easier to go to a hooker rather
than wait for another 20 years to meet a girl the normal way.
I
don’t believe a hooker would judge a guy based on looks or at least, they would
be kind enough to lie and not tell a guy how ugly he is to his face. A hooker will do anything thing a guy wants,
for a fee of course. Hookers don't care about size of a guy’s business either.
A
guy can have sex with a ten on the physical looks scale, even if he’s a one, as
long as he has enough money. If he goes to a hooker in a legal brothel, where
the girls get checked up on, they will probably be cleaner than a girl who is a
serial monogamist; most importantly, hookers are available and willing.
Because
they are professionals, hookers are probably better at sex than normal girls. A
hooker is probably the choice for me, if I don’t count fat and ugly chicks. I
am sure hookers are cheaper than a wife in the long run. In the divorce, courts
always end up siding with the wife, and the male ends up being financially
raped.
I
know I am not the only guy that feels this way. Does everyone in the audience
agree that hookers are better than girl friends? I will now take comments and
questions from the floor.
Below are some examples of comments from Tulsa World’s readers:
· Dr. Ubigo: What a sad ending to a man with the right idea. My suggestion is to find a nice hooker who is not that pretty and convince her to be your girlfriend. Tell her it doesn't matter that she's a hooker and you love her for who she really is.
· Stan H: I feel so sorry for the poor fool. He should have quit saying
all those things about himself. Who said being shy is unattractive, and there
is no such thing as an ugly human. Just because you think you are ugly not
everyone else thinks that you are. It sounded like Teddy had personality, at
least his question did. Can a hooker give you love?
· Grass Hop: You can’t kill a good idea; however, you have to be careful not
to be giving your girlfriend or wife crabs, syphilis, and gonorrhea, most of
the time, they usually get pissed.
· Joker: I wish I had been at that conference. Check places like
craigslist w4m or casual encounter w4m,mw4m and find what they call a friend
with benefits or a couple looking for a male partner. It is a lot safer and
everyone can use a new friend. I would have told Teddy before it was too late.
· Empty Nester: Teddy was simply telling the truth. He didn’t deserve to be
shredded. I think he did a real good job of describing what most men’s needs
are. While some men really need emotional attachment, if you don’t then go get
them unlicensed sex therapists.
· ?: He didn’t deserve what he got, but I read self-contempt in his
words, if you do not respect yourself, no one else will do. As for his
question, depends on what are you looking for, a sex mate or a soul mate?
· Bronzeba: Only losers take the "easy" way out. A lot of those
guys wind up with diseases, or they wind up alone and lonely. It might sound
good, in theory, but truthfully, you shouldn't try it. It’s better that he was
shredded.
· Daniel: He was an idiot. He admitted he was no kind of catch whatsoever,
but he was very shallow about looks. What a 100% d-bag. I never thought I'd answer
this way, but yeah hookers would have been best for you, Teddy. You reap what
you sow.
· TwenkyB: What a sad excuse for a "man" who did not deserve a
wife or a decent girlfriend. He deserved a hooker, and now he is where he
should be.
· Kalaub09: FOR YOU---hookers were better because you had no personality and
nothing special about you---so yes FOR YOU, BUT you would have Had a pretty sad
life. I’m not sorry!
· Dads Boy: Jesus had one he saved her from being stoned to death. I don’t
know if he ever did anything with her or not but he did like her. Maybe you can
ask him, Teddy.
· Raven: Looks like you will always be still a virgin, Teddy Boy. At
least you didn’t get a nice STD as a parting gift.
· PurpleKi: "Those girls are probably cleaner than some girl who has
had serial monogamy." That offended me. The only man that I have been with
is my husband, and you said that hookers are cleaner? Was this a real question?
Teddy, you had some pretty negative views of women. Bad luck with relationships
meant that there was something going on with you. Now, you can't keep blaming
all of the women you meet. There is something that men have to change about
themselves. Maybe most of those women were in the wrong too, or mainly in the
wrong, but relationships (good and bad) are designed to help us grow. If you
can't grow from them of course you won't be happy. Probably best that you are
in heaven or wherever.
· DC G: Poor little guy had a different set of expectations, and now I
hope he is in a better and different relationship—one with God. Here’s what I
know: a prostitute will provide attention and sex, for a set period of time,
for a set fee, after that, you're expected to pay for another hour, or get out.
It's a financial transaction, and that's all. A wife/partner/spouse is expected
to help establish a life with you - home, family, companionship - in addition
to the attention and sex, and your spouse does have to do it because she is
your wife, and she loves you.
· South of France: If men are not interested in forming a family, then perhaps
patronizing prostitutes is the right solution: however, since most people
ultimately do want to have a family, a long-term arrangement with a hooker
probably isn't the right solution for most men.
· Pigs Eye: I am sorry the little schmuck got shredded. No one deserves
that, but I don't see why 'fat and ugly chicks' don't count. They're people,
and as deserving of happiness as anyone else is, and it’s the same for all the
rest of us!
A closed casket funeral service for Mr. Underman will be held at the First Baptist Church at 1003 South Cincinnati, Tulsa, Oklahoma as soon as the coroner releases the body.
